Perhaps It Wasn't Love?
by eriinxx
Summary: Marian loves Guy. She questions his feelings. He must love someone else. The Sheriff perhaps? crack fic, all characters OOC.


**AN: This is a crackfic. It would never happen, and some of it's completely messed up. Oh, and I don't like Marian much. You might be able to interpret that? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood BBC. If I did it would be called the Will Scarlett show. **

**Dedicated to my sister. The whole idea behind this was from her.**

**­­**

Marian sighed wistfully as she watched Guy's carriage pull up outside her door.

She pretended she wasn't, but she was in love. Not with Robin as most people suspected, but with Sir Guy Of Gisborne.

Though, Marian was jealous. Jealous of all the time Guy spent with the Sheriff of late. She wasn't worried that Guy would leave her for the Sheriff, no that wasn't it. She just didn't like the way the Sheriff not so subtly came onto her man.

Sometimes, when Marian thought about it, she questioned Guy's feelings for her. She knew it wasn't the Sheriff that held his feeling, but sometimes she thought it wasn't her either. She just couldn't shake the feeling there was another _woman_ standing in the way of their relationship, and he was only marrying Marian to make himself look good.

She smiled to herself as she skipped down the stairs to meet her love. She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a hug that he half-heartedly returned. She shoved he doubts to the back of her mind, ignoring his behaviour before inviting him in for a cup of tea.

Her father greeted Guy with his usual icy glare, which Guy interpreted as an invitation for a staring contest. Guy was the master of staring contests, as he enjoyed playing them with people he'd just stabbed. Those people always lost, seeing as they died.

Guy's stare was deadly.

What he didn't know though, was that the ex-Sheriff held the title of 'Best Starer' in the Huntington area.

Edward chortled as Guy's left eye twitched. People always under-estimated the old man. It was time for Guy's undoing.

It happened very quickly. Guy stumbled, blinked and ran out the door, shouting something about "needing to see the Sheriff, now!" tears pouring out his eyes. He got very emotional when it came to staring competitions.

"Daddy!" Marian whined. "Why did you do that?! You scared Guy away!" She then pouted like a 5 year-old.

"I don't think you should be with that Guy character. He's always running off to 'see the Sheriff' and dear god, he wears far too much eyeliner. But Robin on the other hand…is handsome, brave and an all round nice guy!" To emphasise his point, he stuck his thumb in the air.

"Daddy, I know you're in love with Robin! But you've got to stop living through me!" With that, Marian stomped her foot, turned and fled, leaving Edward well and truly stumped.

Marian's initial plan was to then seek out Guy and the Sheriff and spy on them, find out what they did in those long, cold nights they spent together in that stone room. That was before she found the Sheriff wandering aimlessly in the road wearing nought but his pyjamas, as always.

"Sheriff." Marian wailed, just like a leper. "Where be my lover?" This time she screamed like a banshee.

"I haft not set eyes on that hunk today!" the Sheriff sighed. "He never pays any attention to me no longer! It's so stressful, trying to plot how to reel him back in. It's driven my to the drink! Too much grape juice does ones head in, I tell you!"

Marian starred him down, just like she'd learnt from her dad.

"Alrigh' Alrigh', He's in the forest! With Robin and his outlaws." the Sheriff groaned softly before falling flat on his face with a dull thud.

Marian sped off again. Guy?! With the outlaws?! They were filthy! They could taint her man with their smelliness!

She edged towards the clearing, raucous laughter reaching her ears. One laugh she recognised as Guy's. What could he be doing?! Honestly. Guy never laughed, apart from when he was thinking sadist thoughts. Guy lived to brood terror.

Marian poked her head around a tree and there, in the clearing was…Allan doing the chicken dance?!

Guy, nearly falling apart laughing had just gotten up to join him.

That was when Robin noticed they had a visitor.

"Oh, hey Marian! We're doing roleplays. Wanna join?"

So that was what Guy had been distracted by, a roleplay, not another woman?

No, it wasn't the roleplay, or another woman. It was Allan.

Guy laid a soft kiss on the other mans lips when they finished the skit.

Marian fainted. It was all too much.

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